What Else

Well, I challenged myself at the beginning of the year to go through all the things on the list for the journal, but since they are not required to do, I am letting that go. If I can find it in me to finish that challenge before the semester is up, I will, but right now, I am just trying to right whatever comes to mind which isnt much but a bunch of crap. haha

Lets try another poem, since those seem to come easier.

I lie here in bed as all these crazy thoughts run through my mind
Its like a movie of my life that is constantly on the rewind
So much pain and sorrow, so much loss and and grief
When will I ever find peace or just find some relief
I dont take drugs no more, yes I drink sometimes though
But I just want to be able to be sober and just let it all go
I hold it deep down and it tares away at my heart
Theres just so much to fix, that I dont know where to start
It is one big mess, one million scars tore open and bleeding
Love makes me happy and it is the only thing that Im needing
Why does it always fail, why do I give my all to just lose
Why are all my poems and songs always about the blues
Is there an end to this all anywhere in sight or even near
Or do I gotta keep breaking down and tasting my tears
My eyes have cried more then most men would admit
But I wear my heart on my sleeve and they keep breaking it
This on top of my childhood, and ever other pain I have kept
So much I have been through and all the times that I wept
I really dont know which way to turn or what move to make
And to be honest I just dont know how much more I can take
I contemplated ending it all, but I could not do that to my son'
So ill suffer through my entire life if I have to for my only one
Hes the only thing bright in my life, the one that makes me smile
I wouldnt be here any longer if I didnt ever have my child
So I gotta hold on just for him, and hopefully one day things give
And hopefully one day in my future I actually enjoy to live