I am So Lazy

I used to have a blog, and I was pretty consistent with it for awhile and then I got lazy and let it go. I really liked it to. Seems to be the case with this one as well. I get on a kick and write like 3 or 4 things and then I do not touch it until a month later. Well, with the due date coming up, I guess I better get my ass in gear and write something.

Well, this is more like a journal entry of me just spewing off at the mouth for this post. It has been such a long week, actually month. Got back with the high school sweetheart, only to have it end in a month. Tore my heart out again. When will I ever learn? I am always following my heart, but let me tell you, my heart is not very smart and doesnt make wise choices I guess. So here I am, back to square one again.

I so hate being alone. Its just not my thing. I like the company. I am not used to being single, and in this last year it has been the longest I have ever being single. I dont want to be in an unhappy relationship either kind of like my marriage before, and now this. When will it just all go like it is supposed to? Is that even possible? Dating at my age sucks, and where the hell do you go to find someone anyway? The bars are played out and full of skanks, and school they are all like 18 and dont want my old ass. Its a lose lose right now. Sigh! I am pretty bitter over this break up and its hard to write or think about anything else right now. I miss her, but I know it was all bad, and she is a wack job, but I still do care so it makes it even harder to swallow.

Ok, I rambled enough. I cant believe I got like 7 more posts to do and I just cant think of anything to write. Nothing else is on my mind but this mess of the last week. Sigh.